F*ck Bad Friends, I’d Rather Be Lonely

Surrounding myself with people that only bring value to my life.

Joe Valentino
3 min readAug 18, 2021

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Image by [Soulful Pizza] via [Pexels] Copyright-Free

Have you ever grown tired of bad friends? I’m not talking about the friends that are often late or that you have arguments with, I mean that’s all of us right? I’m talking about the kind of friends that are constantly dragging you down and adding absolutely no value to your life. If you’re shouting a big hella YES right now, I’m right there with you.

Friends are meant to be supportive, encouraging, fun and most of all they should add value to our lives. So why is it that we let ourselves settle for less than we know we deserve? I have been in this boat time and time again. And from my own experience in dealing with bad friends, I can wholeheartedly say that cutting them loose has been one of the best things I have done in my life.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve sometimes compromised on the quality of the people you surround yourself with, in exchange to have a moderately active social life. And I get it, no one wants to be lonely, everyone needs to have some sort of social engagement. However I would pose the question, is it more worthwhile to be lonely for a season, than to be in a bad friendship that only reaps bad fruit? I mean to the hell with it if it means that I as a person can be better and more authentically me.

As much as I’d like to give specifics and examples on “bad friends”, I feel that by keeping it general, those of you who can relate can understand. I said earlier that “cutting my friends loose was the best thing I have done in my life,” And I stand by that one hundred per cent. For me, it was as simple as telling these certain individuals how I felt about the relationship, explaining I no longer wanted it and being honest and clear the air. Was this an easy process? Not at all! However, through the pain of breaking off these friendships, it gave me the space emotionally and mentally to move into a healthier and happier place.

After “cutting these people loose”, I was lonely for several months. I didn’t have that same social life I once had surrounded myself with. Although as a person, I was living my best life as opposed to when I spent all my time with my former friends. Many years later, I have been more intentional to choose good people to surround myself with and have put in effort into making friendships with the highest quality of people. My life as it stands now is more fruitful and wonderful than it has ever been.

Those of you reading this who are in the same place know full well what I mean when I say “bad friends”. I get where you are and I understand the pain of letting people go. All I can say is that life looks a lot brighter on the other side when you don’t have people dragging you down and surround yourself with individuals who bring amazing value to your life. From what I have experienced, I can personally say with great conviction,

Fuck bad friends, I’d rather be lonely.

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Joe Valentino

Professional Community Worker, Humanitarian and Mental Health advocate with a passion for culture, people and community.